Good afternoon readers,
Do you ever have a moment where you feel like you’re drowning underwater? Like all the weight of the world is crashing down onto you? Yeah, it’s not a fun feeling. The sky outside is dark, cloudy, lightning the only light while the thunder cracks down louder than the silent seconds before. If I could describe how I’m feeling right now, it’s that. I’ve struggled for a while, but right now is the most alone I think I’ve ever felt. I’m sitting here in my dorm, listening to Noah Kahan, while I write this blog post. Last night was hell, I’m not going to lie to you. It was seven hours of pure hell. I feel like we sugar coat mental health a lot of the time, so let’s not do that here. Honestly, I’m burnt out, I think a lot of us are. It’s just hard because I feel like I’m tiring everyone around me out, but I tire myself out too. I’m sitting here, scared to open up to anyone anymore, because all it’s ever led to is people leaving me. It’s hard, but I know I’ll get better, I know that because I’m trusting in the universe right now. Nothing seems to make sense, but we’re not going to have all the answers, I can’t have it all figured out. At this point I need to do what’s best for me, and if you’re feeling at all like I am right now, then you need to do the same thing. Go take that nap, get that coffee, go for a grounding walk, get a cat. I think I’m going to get a cat; I think that would help me a lot. I’ll have a little buddy that I can take care of and love. What I’m trying to say is that it’s ok to feel this way, it’s ok to be anxious and depressed, but it’s not ok to be hard on yourself and not get the help you deserve. We can’t do this alone, even if we feel like we have too. I know for me, college is really burning me out, and maybe this summer will be a good break for me. Who knows, maybe a semester off might do me some good to figure out my mental health. Whatever it may be for you, just know you’re not alone, and that if no one has told you in a while, I love you. Keep your head high, that’s all we can do right now.
Sending you my love,
Lee <3
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