'Perfect'

Well, Hey There-

I’m going to take accountability for my absence on the blog- it’s been crazy, which is actually the inspiration for this edition. You see, I recently (as in last night) finished the second season’s release of Heartstopper on Netflix. AND OH MY GOSH IF YOU HAVEN’T SEE IT YET GO HOME RIGHT NOW AND SIT DOWN TO WATCH IT IMMEDIATELY!!! Any who, I was watching with my sister yesterday, and the final episode entitled ‘Perfect’ got me thinking- It got me thinking about our innate sense of what ‘perfect’ is in life. 

I’m assuming you’ve all heard the saying that ‘nobody's perfect’, but how many of us truly believe that statement? Growing up and living our day to day lives, we use words like ‘perfect’, ‘normal’, and so forth. We’ve been reminded that there is no real version of perfect, yet we still convince ourselves that there is a ‘perfect’ out there. A perfect that we must be at all costs. It could come out in pushing past your limits in school to get the grades, socially presenting one way or another, viewing a nuclear family as the ideal, or any of the above. It’s something we’re all prone to, due to the way our world has conditioned us. I know I’ve sat here for most of my teen years and criticized myself for many things. From my appearance, my personality, and even my preferred hobbies that bring me joy. I did this for so long, and still do from time to time, because I’m letting that idea of perfection in. I think because I don’t have long flowy hair, I’m not an ideal woman, and no one will like me. So what? I have short hair, but I would never look at another feminine identifying person with short hair and tell them they're any less a woman because of the length of their hair. That would be preposterous. Similarly, I wouldn’t look at someone and say they’re weird just because their favorite show is different from mine- yeah, I would get slightly twinged if someone said Stranger Things is overrated, but I’m not going to criticize them for it (mostly). I’m kidding, I’m kidding don’t worry. 

All jokes aside, the point I’m trying to make here is that we need to let go of this silly idea of a ‘perfect life’. Life is far from perfect- in more than one way. Do you realize how many friends I’ve had tell me that they think they’re weird, that they don’t feel ‘normal’. When they tell me this, I look at them and think- what’s normal? And each time this comes up in conversation, it’s because of constant comparison to this fake idea of ‘perfect’. Everyone who exists on this plane is different from the next, so in that sense we’re all weird. There isn’t a baseline for weirdness, or existence for that matter. 

I think if we are able to really get rid of this ideal, we could be infinitely times happier. Comparison of any kind is detrimental to our mental health- but it’s hard to not do this considering it’s what we’ve been exposed to our entire lives. It doesn’t matter what we’re comparing- it could be models in magazines, it could be a different family’s living situation, or performance in a sporting event. We don’t even realize we’re doing it most of the time. I used to wish I had curly hair instead of my boring straight hair, or I wished for a different body type to look more like my friends. Then once I got into high school, I wished I didn’t feel so different- I wished I didn’t have these thoughts about girls the way I also did boys. I didn’t want to be seen as any different than the people I had been going to school with my entire life. I wanted to be like the pretty popular girls who had boyfriends starting in middle school, the girls who seemed to have it all compared to me. I thought they were perfect. I forgot about the clique from earlier- the 'nobody's perfect’ line I had been told for years. I forgot it because I didn’t really believe it, I honestly thought it was complete and total bullshit- pardon my French. 

After the year I’ve had, two years actually- I’m finally starting to see where I was going wrong. I was always so mean to myself, and for what? No one really cared what I looked like, no one cared about how I acted- the truth of the matter was that they were all too focused on themselves to see me. Which is normal. We all have this idea that everyone is staring and judging, and yeah maybe one person out of many might have, but the rest were all worrying about the same things you were. So why put all this energy into being someone you aren’t? I think it’s good to put your best efforts into your endeavors, but don’t put false expectations onto yourself. Perfect is stupid. Perfect is boring. Perfect doesn’t exist.

Being uniquely and authentically your silly goofy self is pretty freaking great. 

So, be yourself- let go of what we’ve been trained into thinking ‘perfect’ is. Do what makes you happy, not what you think you have to do to be fake happy. Dress in whatever you like, paint your nails, go to the college you want or don’t go to college, like the people you like, express yourself in whatever way you want to express yourself. 

It’s worth it to you-

Lee