Back on that Future Grind

Ok, bear with me today, 

The future is a big scary thing. I feel like I’ve definitely touched on this, but I want to talk about it in full. We all know that the future is never set in stone- however I think we always find ourselves taking a lot of life for granted. It’s just one of those things that we know will change, yet also expect to stay the same. We don’t think about it until after the fact, and end up missing what was once it’s gone. 

I’m not writing to make this seem sad, or to say that we need to mourn change. No, it’s the opposite actually. In the last two blogs I’ve talked a lot about this idea of change- and I know it’s probably starting to get annoying as hell. Part of the reason I started these blogs in the first place was also to help myself when it came to my own struggles in life- and if they help others that’s amazing! So I do apologize if I’m getting awfully repetitive. For me personally I know I’m going through a lot of change, and it’s scary.  

I’ve had a pretty good life- I mean yes I struggle with depression, anxiety, and other things. However, I know I’ve been blessed with support systems in my life, a roof over my head, being financially ok, and so forth. Sometimes, when you’re like me and have this life, you don’t expect it to really change until it does. Within the last week the rug was finally pulled out from under me. I have a lot of changes going on at home right now, stuff that I won’t be talking about here considering it’s not fully my business to share (at least quit yet). With this in mind, it’s funny because one of the biggest things I’ve taken away is that the future isn’t as stable as I once saw it. Certain things in my life that I always considered consistent, aren’t quite consistent anymore- the constants in my life are no longer there, and my life is completely changed. That’s not necessarily a bad thing by all means, it’s just that my life will never look the same as it once did. Which is forkin scary as heck man. 

Why I’m even mentioning this, and what I’m trying to say- is that because life is full of change, and we don’t really know what’s next- don’t let it stop you from doing or being what you want to do or be. For example, something I know I’ve shared in a couple of blogs is the fact that I really want to get a cat. A lot of people when I first mentioned this idea back in the fall were nervous about me going through with it. They were afraid it might hold me back in college. I understand the concern, it’s a hell of a commitment for a depressed nineteen year old, like myself. But with everything I said before- I don’t want to keep thinking about what I’d want, and just start doing. If I don’t take action in my life, I could miss out on some pretty cool opportunities, or things that could help me get through the hard times in life- in this case it might be a cat that could do that. My entire life I’ve been surrounded by animals. I’ve had four dogs, and four cats throughout eighteen years, not to mention the goats and chickens on our family farm. I know I can handle this, and if I mess up a bit- I will work through it myself, and with my cat. 

Life is about figuring things out, and no one really knows it all. I’ve had my parents (who are both in their fifties) tell me they don’t know everything either. They don’t know what they want to do with their lives, and with recent developments, it shows me even more that none of us fully know what life has in store for us as individuals. So, yes it’s a commitment, and it’s scary as hell- but if I don’t do it, then I’ll never know. This could certainly be the decision that makes my life a little happier, healthier, and fuller. 

Ok, ok- I think that’s it on my spiel about change and the future. What I guess I’m trying to get through with this whole thing, is that if there is something you know you want to do for yourself- do it. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to look like, you don’t, no one does- so go out and do for yourself what is best for you, and what will make you happier. 

Thanks for bearing with me once again everyone,

Lee ;)